Sometimes when I’m biking I hold this part (seen in picture) and pretend I’m harry potter riding a broom.

Been thinking about some old “what to say when you enter a party” classics, and came across this gold bar: “what’s crappening?” It’s one of the better introductions because if you say it quickly enough, people don’t ntoice, but a sophisticated ear will hear the bit and burst out laughing because its so seamless

Every three months I need to buy new headphones—the wired ones that plug into an iPhone. I’m not sure exactly why they’re breaking, maybe I’m being punished for listening to nothing but guilty pleasures, forcing me to engage the “private listening session” option on Spotify, lest I be caught enjoying Chandelier by Sia on

I’ve come to the conclusion that confessing to wrongdoing is, in fact, morally superior to simply doing the right thing to begin with. When you consider the grand scope of things, a vantage point I consider exclusively, admitting to immorality requires twice as much courage and integrity than just doing the ethical thing from

I’m unemployed without a backup plan. I left my job as a high school Spanish teacher after deciding that teaching second generation immigrants their own language was not quite as fulfilling as Ms. Honey made it out to be. Not to mention after years of teaching not a single student ever performed a telekinetic

Today I got a bad haircut. It took about four days of clear skin to become so outrageously confident that I walked into a barber shop on a weekday. This confidence, however, was only meant to last for so long. Whether it was the balancing of my chakras or my ying catching up to