As I near the end of my Head & Shoulder Shampoo, I come to a time of reflection. Not only has this product saved me from the social damnation that is dandruff, it’s also kept my hair soft and glowing. Such an accomplishment did not come without sacrifice however, and I write this in […]

Feeling like you have no passion in your life? Looking for a pass-time that gives you purpose? Consider participating in the enriching craft of Hobby Starting: the act of starting hobbies. I am currently beginning my 12th hobby just this year and am finally ready to share what I’ve learned in the process. Some

Church is supposed to be a sanctuary. A place for good people to separate themselves from the evils of the world. Now, St. Patrick’s Cathedral must’ve had a breach in security or a gap in the floorboards because a couple evils managed to sneak their way inside and torment me what should have been

Dear coffeeshops, I love the giant chalkboard you have hanging behind the cash register, but would it kill you to write something useful on it? This may come as a shock to you but nobody cares which Nicaraguan plantation was exploited to churn out your shitty cup of java. I’m asking for two things

The following is a letter to Red Wings Hockey Arena from the perspective of my mom who had a bad time there. Dear Wings Stadium, I always wondered just how thin the thread holding me together was, and after an evening at the Wings Stadium I’ve come to realize it’s razor.  First of all,

You may think I’m writing because I have a love for language and the written word. I don’t. I think language is stupid and there’s hardly any reason to be talking at all.  Our ancient ancestors spoke in grunts and slaps. They talked about berries and being chased to death by predators. Beyond that,