Goodbye Shampoo

As I near the end of my Head & Shoulder Shampoo, I come to a time of reflection. Not only has this product saved me from the social damnation that is dandruff, it’s also kept my hair soft and glowing. Such an accomplishment did not come without sacrifice however, and I write this in an attempt to recognize all it went through for the sake of hair care.

I can’t say the soap’s passing was untimely. I watched each day as the bottle became frailer by the pump, the nozzle sucking away at its very being.

In its final days the bottle appeared sickly, a crumpled distortion of its former self. As it’s figure decayed, so did my expectations. In its youth I would demand full dollops of its continents, but as I watched it wither away I asked only for the sputtering foam it could spare to dispense.

I will admit that I was at first in denial. In desperation I shook the bottle, smacking its back to resuscitate. I flooded its internals with water and frantically pumped the frothy fluid only to find that by the next day it had gone cold and stagnate.

The bottle is empty now, lying amongst the soaps of roommates past like the ruins of an ancient hygienic empire. Rows of twisted and contorted remains serve as a reminder to us all that soap will continue to give at the expense of itself, pushing to the point of a final squeeze that provides nothing but a hollow, exasperated breath. 

Goodbye Head & Shoulders,

And hello roommate’s shampoo.